ZIT Married people live
longer, or does it just seem that
ZIT If the universe is
everything, and scientist say the
universe is expanding, what is it
ZIT Glue doesn't stick to
the inside of the bottle?
ZIT After erecting a
structure it is called a
building. Shouldn't it
called a built?
Croutons come in an air tight
package? Its only stale bread
When I take my dog for a walk, he
has to lift his leg and urinate on
every bush and tall clump of grass.
never runs out of pee?
ZIT If your house burns
up or your house
burns down you
have the same result?
One day I am stuck in traffic
behind a truck moving a house down the
street, blocking all lanes of traffic.
WHY ZIT they
sign on it that says WIDE LOAD?
If 7-11 stores are open 24 hours a
day, 365 days a year,WHY ZIT they
have locks on the door and does
anyone have a key?
ZIT People keep putting
their emails andin their web pages?
aren't cute any more.
ZIT If psychics know the
winning lottery numbers, they are
ZIT I'm driving
down the road and see a sign telling me
to "Save Our Forest" and the sign is
made out of wood?
The only time you hear the word
MERRY is with the word CHRISTMAS?
Nobody says "Have a MERRY
ZIT You never see Black people
on a ski slope?
ZIT When ever you are backing
out of a parking stall, there is always
someone behind you backing out of
ZIT Fat, ugly women feel a
need to take Self-Defense
ZIT You park in the
driveway, but you
drive on the parkway?
ZIT The instructions on a box of
Q-Tips tell you not to put them in your
ZIT The police find bodies
buried in shallow
but never in deep
ZIT That overlook the
opposite of oversee?
WHY ZIT People
press harder on the remote control
buttons when they know the
batteries are dead?
ZIT Scientist call it "re"
search when they are looking for
ZIT When two airplanes
almost collide, they call it a
near miss? Wouldn't it be a near
ZIT If you tell someone that
there are a billion stars in the sky,
they will believe you. But, if you tell
them the paint on the wall is still
wet, they have to touch it?
ZIT A piano player is called a
pianist, but, a race car driver isn't
called a racist?
ZIT The man you hire to invest
your money, is called
I need some firewood so I find a
ZIT I chop the tree
then I chop it
If a dog gets pissed when you
blow in its face,
WHY ZIT they will stick their
out the car
ZIT People hang useless crap
their rear view mirrors?
ZIT Women wear evening gowns to
night clubs? Shouldn't they be wearing
ZIT UPS drivers park in middle
the street, even if they are next to a
LOAD ONLY Zone?
When a man sits down on the toilet to
take a crap and there is no toilet
paper, he will get up and get it
himself.WHY ZIT A
woman has to yell for someone to get it
ZIT People will park their
$35,000 car in the driveway, but
keep useless boxes of crap stored
in the garage?
ZIT Women marry men, hoping
they will change and men marry
women hoping they won't?
ZIT Jews buy German
ZIT A Wise Man is the opposite
of a Wise Guy?