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WHY ZIT That a fat chance and a slim chance mean the same thing?

WHY ZIT When a traffic light goes out, the motorists take turns entering the intersection and the traffic moves fine. When the policeman arrives and starts directing traffic, it gets backed up for blocks?

WHY ZIT When they reformat a movie for television, they know what size of TV you have?

WHY ZIT With all of the possums laying dead in the road, they aren't extinct yet?

WHY ZIT When a man talks dirty to a woman, it is sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it is $3.95 per minute?

WHY ZIT Married people live longer, or does it just seem that way?

WHY ZIT If the universe is everything, and scientist say the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?

WHY ZIT Glue doesn't stick to the inside of the bottle?

WHY ZIT After erecting a structure it is called a building. Shouldn't it be called a built?

WHY ZIT Croutons come in an air tight package? Its only stale bread anyway.

With all the money in a bank, WHY ZIT They chain the pens to the counter?

When I take my dog for a walk, he has to lift his leg and urinate on every bush and tall clump of grass. WHY ZIT he never runs out of pee?

WHY ZIT If your house burns up or your house burns down you have the same result?

One day I am stuck in traffic behind a truck moving a house down the street, blocking all lanes of traffic. WHY ZIT they need a sign on it that says WIDE LOAD?

If 7-11 stores are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year,WHY ZIT they have locks on the door and does anyone have a key?

WHY ZIT People keep putting :-) in their emails andin their web pages? They aren't cute any more.

WHY ZIT If psychics know the winning lottery numbers, they are still employed?

WHY ZIT I'm driving down the road and see a sign telling me to "Save Our Forest" and the sign is made out of wood?

WHY ZIT The only time you hear the word MERRY is with the word CHRISTMAS? Nobody says "Have a MERRY WEEKEND".

WHY ZIT You never see Black people on a ski slope?

WHY ZIT When ever you are backing out of a parking stall, there is always someone behind you backing out of theirs?

WHY ZIT Fat, ugly women feel a need to take Self-Defense classes?

WHY ZIT You park in the driveway, but you drive on the parkway?

WHY ZIT The instructions on a box of Q-Tips tell you not to put them in your ear?

WHY ZIT The police find bodies buried in shallow graves but never in deep graves?

WHY ZIT That overlook the opposite of oversee?

WHY ZIT Bikers chain their wallets to their pants? Is anyone really stupid enough to try and pickpocket a biker?

WHY ZIT People no longer buy whitewall tires?

WHY ZIT They are called apartments, when they are all stuck together?

WHY ZIT People press harder on the remote control buttons when they know the batteries are dead?

WHY ZIT Scientist call it "re" search when they are looking for something new?

WHY ZIT When two airplanes almost collide, they call it a near miss? Wouldn't it be a near hit?

WHY ZIT If you tell someone that there are a billion stars in the sky, they will believe you. But, if you tell them the paint on the wall is still wet, they have to touch it?

WHY ZIT A piano player is called a pianist, but, a race car driver isn't called a racist?

WHY ZIT The man you hire to invest your money, is called a Broker?

I need some firewood so I find a tree. WHY ZIT I chop the tree down and then I chop it up?

If a dog gets pissed when you blow in its face, WHY ZIT they will stick their head out the car window?

WHY ZIT People hang useless crap from their rear view mirrors?

WHY ZIT Women wear evening gowns to night clubs? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?

WHY ZIT UPS drivers park in middle of the street, even if they are next to a LOAD ONLY Zone?

When a man sits down on the toilet to take a crap and there is no toilet paper, he will get up and get it himself.WHY ZIT A woman has to yell for someone to get it for her?

WHY ZIT People will park their $35,000 car in the driveway, but keep useless boxes of crap stored in the garage?

WHY ZIT Women marry men, hoping they will change and men marry women hoping they won't?

WHY ZIT Jews buy German cars?

WHY ZIT A Wise Man is the opposite of a Wise Guy?

WHY ZIT They call it a hamburger when there is no ham in it?

WHY ZIT People in convertables put the top down, then roll up the side windows? WHY ZIT When you stand on your head, your face turns red, but, when you stand on your feet, your legs don't turn red?

WHY ZIT When you talk about MARRIAGE, two words always come up, COMMITMENT and INSTITUTION?

WHY ZIT There is always someone riding your tail when you slow down to look for an address?

WHY ZIT When a lawyer writes a 10,000 word document, it is called a brief?

WHY ZIT There is always one or two ice cubes that won't pop out of the tray?

WHY ZIT You can never put anything back in the box the way it came?